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I just want you to know how much I've enjoyed annoying you this last year, and how excited I am to continue.
Sometimes I want to kiss your face. Sometimes I want to sit on your face. Sometimes I want to hold a pillow on your face.
I'm so glad that we got drunk and had sex
Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. But then I remember that I put up with you. So I guess we're even
It's remarkable how long we've tolerated each other
Obligatory Father's Day card
Being married to me is really the only gift you need. Just saying
There's nobody else I'd rather lie in bed and look at my phone next to
I'm so glad you're as weird as me